1991 UD Comic Cards 2

I've been away from APAD for longer than I care to admit.  And, with that, let us delve into a pack of cards I received as part of a "Non-Sport" purchase.  Evidently, cartoonized cards featuring Reggie Jackson and Nolan Ryan are not "baseball" enough to be considered a sport.  After reading this, you make your own conclusion.

Taz gives Reggie a high-five.  Each card features a title ("Seventh Inning Stretch" here), the Looney Tunes and UD logos and some kind of picture.  Sometimes, the pictures are of actual people.  Other times, well, it's just looney.

Every card ties the Looney Tunes cast into a baseball-related scenario.  The backs of the cards feature trivia questions with answers.  Name the first Bugs Bunny cartoon to be nominated for an Academy Award.  No, really, without Google.  Go ahead.  Okay, fine, it was in 1940 and it was "A Wild Hare." Happy now?

I'm not sure if you put the cards in order they would tell a story. Judging by the dialogue, I would have to guess yes.

This appears to be the title card.  I have no idea what chicken wings have to do with it, but how do you have chicken wings without Foghorn Leghorn!?

Do you see that!? Dupes. In a single pack, I get dupes.  Yeesh.

"So, Nolan, you're one of the greatest pitchers ever, right?  Well, we'd like to take some pictures of you pretending to talk to Bugs Bunny.  Yes, I said Bugs Bunny. Hello?  Hello, Mr. Ryan?"

*This post appears in a three-way cross-posting between "APAD," "A Pack To Be Named Later," and "Things Done to Cards."

2009 Bowman Chrome

I guess I just refuse to let this blog die. (Should the words "with dignity" end that last sentence?)

First of all, let me state that this pack of cards has been sitting, opened, on my shelf, for probably at least six months, if not more. At the present, these cards are now curled up like a bag of Fritos Scoops. You know, the big ones that enable America's plumpening in the ass and mid-section regions. And the thighs of you womenfolk.

Secondly, I can state with authority that I remember some of the circumstances surrounding my purchase of this pack of cards. Only when I looked at my receipt did I realize that I had bought a JUMBO pack, not the regular pack. I cry foul on this one. Since when does a JUMBO pack contain five cards? Mother fuck. I'm still having flashbacks, and soon the state is going to have to pick up the tab for some serious PTSD medication.

What I need right now is someone roughly the height, build, and hairiness of Robin Williams to firmly embrace me while repeatedly assuring me, "It's not your fault. It's not your fault." Then I'm going to turn on the shower and sit there for an hour while the blood slowly leaks out of my violated asshole, which is now the size of a pickle jar. Then a cab driver will ridicule me about the "back door delivery" I wasn't expecting. (If you can identify both film references in this paragraph, flaunt your prowess in the comments. Now.)

Let's tear in.

Top to Bottom:
122 Alexi Casilla

13 Cliff Lee

BCW48 Some WBC guy from Japan (God, this stupid WBC crap showed up in too many products last year. It created a climate in which I refused to buy a single pack of 2009 Topps Chrome, and I loved 2008 Topps Chrome. When there are four cards in a pack, it is inexcusable to get a WBC card. I am on alert for 2013 already, where the field may be expanded to 24 teams. Expect 50 percent more of this crap should that occur.)

BCP185 Jack McGeary

123 Scott Kazmir

Kick me in the nuts, swiftly.