Saturday, January 16, 2010

2009 Donruss Americana: The Worst Pack of All-Time

The pack that finally made me swear off this stuff once and for all. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT buy Donruss Americana unless it is a first series hobby box.

Let's tear in.

Top to Bottom:
49 Denzel Whitaker (I have no idea who you are. Thus, you are the result of Denzel Washington and Forest Whitaker having a baby.)

7 Sofia Milos (I have no idea who you are. Thus, you are a cross between a TV chef on a show nobody watches and Carnie Wilson. Or you are the third sister of non-sisters Dana Delany and Kim Delaney, Sofia Delaeney.)

15 Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs (I have no idea who you are. Thus, I apologize for not watching Welcome Back, Kotter. A little before my time.)

72 Anson Williams (I know who you are, you're Potsie! Yay!)

29 Ty Hardin (I have no idea who you are. Thus, you are a cigarette spokesman from the 1950s. Knowing what you know now, how can you live with yourself?)

Even the wrapper sucks for this product.

What is this, a record crate? If so, what is it doing in the middle of the desert?

I apologize.

7 comments:

  1. That's hilarious! Thanks for the warning!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow, that's brutal.

    ReplyDelete
  3. yeah, that was awful. not even worth tagging. which you didn't do. so there we are.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Isn't Ty Hardin the spokesman on the Simpsons? You may know him from an instructional fillm called blahblahblah

    ReplyDelete
  5. I got an Americana with Hilton-Jacobs, Anson, and Hardin as well. Bad collation I guess.

    ReplyDelete
  6. It's sad that that one guy really does look like a hybrid model of Denzel washington and Forrest Whitaker.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Does anyone know who (licensor) Donruss did the deal with on the Americana line?

    ReplyDelete