2005 Upper Deck Pros & Prospects

It's gone past the point of becoming cliche to point out that no one posts here anymore. In fact, it's now cliche to point out the cliche regarding the lack of posts. So here we go. I'll just tell a lie about each player.

Let's tear in.

Top to Bottom:
35 Jason Schmidt
Mike Schmidt was a well-known practitioner of Onanism. If you've got a test tube and a quick, nimble hand, and you're in the general area when the seed is spilt, you can make a name for yourself in the AI game. Jason, I hate to tell you this way, but this is your origin story in a nutshell.

49 Alfonso Soriano
No fewer than 43 Major League Baseball teams have been disappointed when a post-Yankees Soriano failed to capture lightning in a bottle for them.

32 Ben Sheets
Sheets owns the world record for creating and cooking the world's longest knackwurst on the world's smallest grill.

88 Kerry Wood
Currently hanging above table 14 in a Wilmette, Illinois, Applebee's.

69 Livan Hernandez
Provides the voice for the Car Fox on those Carfax commercials.

29 Jason Kendall
Removes the toilet in each home he inhabits, just squats above the hole.

All of these guys were seasoned pros then, where are the prospects?