2013 Topps Opening Day

Opening this pack, I realized that you can give any player a nickname with little to no thought. Just take the start of their first name, add the beginning of their last name, throw a hyphen in there, and PRESTO! Instant nickname! Let's see how this works.

Let's tear in.

Top to Bottom:
198 Ryan Howard (Ry-Ho. Futuristic, would fit in well with the Voltron crew or the Thundercats.)

155 Brandon Crawford (Bra-Craw. Kind of Neanderthal, maybe a little too Broseph-y, but it has potential.)

22 Felix Hernandez (Fēl-Her. Suggestive, a little TOO suggestive.)

BF-18 Darwin Barney Ballpark Fun (Dar-Bar. A new desert available at Dairy Queen in limited test markets.)

183 Fernando Rodney (Fer-Rod. Too many -Rod nicknames as it is, plus no one wants to think about a furry shaft.)

212 Pablo Sandoval (Nope, already has quite the nickname.)

81 Miguel Cabrera (Mig-Ca... oh,forget it.)

Never mind, bad idea, it only works out like 10% of the time.
Gotta say I like these cards, though. Although Topps probably heard how much we liked it when their OD product is designed without the foil player names, then decided on difficult-to-read light gray. Why do we even bother?