Sunday, March 21, 2010
I guess I just refuse to let this blog die. (Should the words "with dignity" end that last sentence?)
First of all, let me state that this pack of cards has been sitting, opened, on my shelf, for probably at least six months, if not more. At the present, these cards are now curled up like a bag of Fritos Scoops. You know, the big ones that enable America's plumpening in the ass and mid-section regions. And the thighs of you womenfolk.
Secondly, I can state with authority that I remember some of the circumstances surrounding my purchase of this pack of cards. Only when I looked at my receipt did I realize that I had bought a JUMBO pack, not the regular pack. I cry foul on this one. Since when does a JUMBO pack contain five cards? Mother fuck. I'm still having flashbacks, and soon the state is going to have to pick up the tab for some serious PTSD medication.
What I need right now is someone roughly the height, build, and hairiness of Robin Williams to firmly embrace me while repeatedly assuring me, "It's not your fault. It's not your fault." Then I'm going to turn on the shower and sit there for an hour while the blood slowly leaks out of my violated asshole, which is now the size of a pickle jar. Then a cab driver will ridicule me about the "back door delivery" I wasn't expecting. (If you can identify both film references in this paragraph, flaunt your prowess in the comments. Now.)
Let's tear in.
Top to Bottom:
122 Alexi Casilla
13 Cliff Lee
BCW48 Some WBC guy from Japan (God, this stupid WBC crap showed up in too many products last year. It created a climate in which I refused to buy a single pack of 2009 Topps Chrome, and I loved 2008 Topps Chrome. When there are four cards in a pack, it is inexcusable to get a WBC card. I am on alert for 2013 already, where the field may be expanded to 24 teams. Expect 50 percent more of this crap should that occur.)
BCP185 Jack McGeary
123 Scott Kazmir
Kick me in the nuts, swiftly.