Let's tear in
BOINNNNNNG!
Top to Bottom:
5 Troy Tulowitzki (Off to a good start.)
36 Brett Carroll (This guy's mug is no day at the beach. I wonder if he's related to Jamey Carroll, the ex-Rockie, now-Indian, who's in the running for the ugliest current baseball player.)
38 Nick Gorneault
DD2 Dynamic Duos Joba Chamberlain & Phil Hughes (Sweet! An insert Joba!)
170 Justin Upton
123 Rick Vandenhurk
Now that that's over, let's discuss how ugly Jamey Carroll is. The first thing that comes to mind is "Andy-Richter-with-his-face-caught-in-a-face-smooshing-vice." From there it moves into Munchkin territory, though I'm not quite sure why. Maybe I just get the feeling in the back of my mind that with every at bat he's going to offer someone a membership in the Lollipop Guild. Or maybe he looked normal before, but a chance mishap at an amusement park caricature artist booth somehow switched his actual face with the airbrushed freak version, something like the premise of the John Woo's film Face/Off.
8 comments:
Enough of this nonsense. Pull me a Group B auto, and re-vulcanize my tires, post-haste!
Dammit, quit tempting me with this stuff... I keep seeing '52 blasters and my resolve is beginning to waver.
DO IT dayf!! It's fun stuff I've bought a couple of blasters already!!
NO! You must keep your resolve! You must not give in to your temptations!
What did you say Chris? ...give in to your temptations? ALWAYS BE COLLECTING!!!
(runs to Target)
(runs home, catches breath)
What the hell am I DOING?
I have a car!!!
(hops in car, speeds off to Target)
Don't get caught speeding you might have to pay the cop off with your brand new blaster!!
Yeah, Always Be Collecting. But not collecting garbage like this.
Post a Comment