Grease is the word, beeyotches!
No, I would never do that to you. I'll probably never open that pack, actually. The thing scares me. Just look at that demented look on Sandy's face. If I open that pack demons from the pit of Hell will swarm out and melt my face. Nope, I'm not opening it. I will threaten you all with it from time to time though. No the pack I have chosen for my first rip of 2009 is this:
1987 Fleer Cello pack. Aaaah, now that's a good pack! 1987 is now and will forever be the absolute best set Fleer ever made. The light blue gradient borders, the full career states with scouting reports on the back, the crystal ball looking stickers... it's all freaking brilliant. This set was so incredible, they had to leave out the Greg Maddux rookie card because that would have made it too awesome, and no one would print another baseball card ever again because it would be impossible to top such a perfect set. I picked out a good cello pack too, with Hall of Famer Tony Perez on the front....
and soon to be Hall of Famer Jim Rice on the back. That's already a helluva pack and I haven't even seen what's inside yet. the wrapper has an ad for an official Fleer Collector's album with 10 side loading plastic sheets plus 8 cards and a sticker for only $7.95. Man, I wish I had bought that! There's also the chance at 'Limited Edition" cards in these packs. The cello packs have "1987 All Star Team" cards randomly inserted. Maybe there's one in here! Time to open 'er up.
209 Tony Perez - This card has his final career stats on the back. 2732 hits, 379 homers and 1652 RBIs.
299 Jeff Lahti - Unfortunately for Jeff this also has his career stats on the back. Lifetime 3.12 ERA with a 17-11 record and 20 saves in five seasons with the Cardinals.
167 Alan Trammell - The Awesome increases. One of these days Hall of Fame voters are going to look at all the plaques on the wall, realize Alan's isn't up there and then slap themselves of the forehead and exclaim "WHAT WERE WE THINKING?!?!?" One day...
194 Tom Browning - Reds are well represented so far. From 1985-1991 Tom was a workhorse.
451 Jerry Reuss - The scouts on the back of the card say Jerry had an awesome slider. 220 wins don't lie...
530 Bruce Sutter - Another Hall of Famer, this one sporting the powder blues. That goes to show just how good Bruce was, that he got in the Hall even with those terrible Braves years dragging him down.
180 Shane Rawley - That... is an unfortunately placed leg in the background.
376 Jorge Orta - I could say Jorge Orta all day long. Try it. Jooorge Ooorta...
12 Keith Hernandez - Man, this pack gets better and better. Keith is seriously underrated and was one of the best defensive first basemen of all time, if not THE best. He's eligible to get on the Veteran's Committee Hall of Fame ballot in2011. So Met fans, is he as good a TV analyst as a first baseman?
291 Tim Conroy - He was hilarious on the Carol Burnett show.
142 Mitch Williams - Hey! A Wild Thing rookie card! Noice!
322 Wayne Krenchicki - Ut- more final career stats on the back. 8 seasons, 283 hits, 15 nomers, .266 lifetime batting average.
244 Tony Bernazard - I always thought Tony was a good player when I was a kid for some reason. He's now in the Mets' front office as VP of Scapegoats.
315 Tim Burke - I don't have anything witty to say about Tim Burke. Sorry.
102 Tommy John - I was kind of disappointed that Dr. James Andrews was not sponsoring Tommy's Baseball-Reference.com page.
229 Garth Iorg - Eli's pop.
Phillies Sticker - World Champions! Well, not in 1987.
White Sox/Cardinals sticker - The stripes with the team name on them were always good for sticking on team sets.
61 Bob Knepper - Bob's middle name is Wesley. In the offseason he was a Dread Pirate.
392 Alfredo Griffin - Alfredo's lone All-Star appearance happened the same way Judge Stone got his Job on Night Court. He was the only one available.
161 Dan Petry - Dan pitched 10 games for the Braves in 1991, and was traded away to the Red Sox less than a month after he was acquired.
611 Barry Jones - The first thing I saw on this card was "Barry" and then a Pirates cap. Man, was I disappointed.
482 Jim Traber - Ok, this is funny.
574 Lee Smith - I wish Hall of Fame voters would stop being schizophrenic about closers and just vote Lee in already. Bruce Sutter set the bar for Hall of Fame closers and Lee easily jumps over it.
600 Matt Young - Matt's career record was 55-95? Sheesh, I didn't know that...
255 Otis Nixon - OTIS MY MAN! I love Otis. You'd think Braves fans would be mad at him over his little sniffy sniff problem back in 1991, but he seems to be as beloved as ever in the ATL.
462 Juan Beniquez - Juan played in 1500 games in his career. That's pretty impressive for a journeyman fourth outfielder.
520 Rick Mahler - After Knucksie signed with the yankees, Mahler was the Braves' ace. Ah, the good 'ol '80s.
268 Chris Brown - Wow, I didn't know Chris drove a truck in Iraq. Dang, that's sad what happened to Chris.
544 Kent Hrbek - Believe it or not, I used to be a pretty big Twins and Hrbek fan. Then 1991 happened. Ron Gant was safe, dammit.
130 Oddibe McDowell - I once had a choice between a 1985 rack pack with Oddibe showing and McGwire showing. You know which one I chose.
30 Oil Can Boyd - If I had unlimited time, I'd be an Oil Can Boyd SuperCollector.
41 Jim Rice - Hall of Fame class of 2009.
Pretty good pack, eh? Better than a wrestling pack, eh? Let's start this year off right!