2005 Donruss Baseball

This pack of 2005 Donruss reminds me of Hurricane Katrina. Are you kidding? Am I out of my mind? The jury's still out on that, but here's how I made the connection:

Perhaps you heard about the news story of truckloads of ice bound for New Orleans that got diverted along the way because of storage concerns. The federal government spent, by one estimate, $12.5 million keeping ice cold in states like Maine, ice that eventually had to be destroyed because officials were unsure whether it was still safe for human consumption.

This anecdote popped in my head because of the price sticker on this pack. This was actually another Target discount pack, although the sticker indicates it once had a home at a Circle K, none of which are even close to where I purchased the pack in Wisconsin. In fact, going to the Circle K website I was unable to locate a franchise within 20 miles, the largest search area available. "So," I wondered, "where did this pack come from?" How many 18-wheelers did it sit upon before reaching my little red basket? How much did Target pay for all of these loose packs? Can I get in on this, or do I lack the purchasing power of a major chain retailer? Were these packs, like the Katrina ice, ever in danger of being destroyed? Is there a landfill somewhere in New Mexico where thousands of unsold packs are buried, just like there's a landfill housing thousands of unsold Atari 2600 E.T. cartridges? If such a place exists, I propose a week-long expedition in the summer of 2008 with Ben Henry, dayf, and Chris Harris. I'll bring the pickaxes.

A man can dream.

Let's tear in.

Top to Bottom:
254 Al Leiter
169 Jason Jennings

270 Esteban Loazia
129 Aramis Ramirez
347 Chad Gaudin
102 Rafael Furcal
LL-1 Adam Dunn Longball Leaders (#0062/1500)

203 Chris Burke (Wasn't that the name of the actor who played Corky on that show "Life Goes On"?
250 Livan Hernandez (A batting pitcher card, where Livan looks as awkward as an orangutan with an electric beard trimmer.)
136 Matt Clement
280 Mike Mussina

Grade: B-
I like getting the Dunn insert. This guy is a pure slugger, and I'd love to see him in left field for the Brewers. When I visited Cincinnati this summer, there was a Reds fan, clearly from the southern side of the Ohio River, who tried in vain all game to get the attention of "Big Donk." Aren't you supposed to harass the outfielders of the opposing team when you've had too much to drink.

Oh, and I need to show the eerie graphic similarity between two cards here.

Now, normally I avoid posting any Cubs, because it's a complete waste of disc space and because...well...I hate them. And their obnoxious "fans". But the Ramirez and Clement cards were too strange to pass up. To me, it looks like something very theatrical and important is going on, like they're reciting Shakespeare or something. Since most baseball players, however, have the personality and matching acting abilities of head cheese, I determined that Hamlet wasn't what was going on here. No, they actually look more like they're unveiling something with dramatic aplomb. I'm thinking it's a large banner declaring the everlasting ineptitude of the franchise. TA-DAAAAA! Seems appropriate.

Last add: Go and vote in the 1981 Topps Showdown CHAMPIONSHIP FI NAL at Thorzul Will Rule.