Friday, May 16, 2008

Some Brand New Schtuff

So I went to the card shop today and came back with this box:


Celebrity Cuts is kind of Donruss Americana Series 2, except they stuffed it full of more inserts and ditched the plastic bubble pack for a fiberboard box. This is the first line of text on the bottom of the box:

In this, the 140th birthday of trading cards, we at Donruss are reminded of the famous Robert Kennedy quote, "There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why ... I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?"

Indeed, why not.

Sure, why not? Another celebrity themed set with a few entertainment legends and a whole lot of D-list filler with autographs, swatches of suits and smoking jackets and underwear and a few numbered parallels just so you know it's Donruss. And ya know, a few baseball players in the mix just so Donruss can show off for the MLB licensing group and wave all the $$$ they made from this stuff at them. The 140th anniversary (what cards were made in 1868?) is also honored by the $140 price tag. I personally saw a George H. W. Bush cut auto with two swatches of what appeared to be a college sweatshirt come out of a pack bought from the very store I got this box, so I decided to take one home for myself. Let's see what's in this box.

Ha! Ha! Fooled you! I'm not paying a hundred and forty clams for a pack of cards that might have an autograph of some guy who had a guest appearance in Law & Order once. The shop was giving away free empty boxes though and they make great pencil holders. Here's my first pack of Bowman for the year.

63 Chris Carpenter - Still hurt, hasn't pitched an inning since April Fool's Day 2007.

17 Bengie Molina - Gold glove, tin bat.

95 Miguel Cabrera - Topps will have a decent looking photo of Miguel in a Tigers uniform by 2009 for sure.

4 Mark Teixeira - 2008 Mark Teixeira is 2004 J.D. Drew. Enjoy him while ya got him, Braves fans.

117 Robinson Cano - I have nothing snarky to say about Robinson Cano. Oh wait, he's hitting .207. HAHAHAHAHAAAA Yankees suck.

ok, one out of five for the useless veterans. Now to the prospects which is what collectors actually care about.

BP95 Matthew Buschman - David Price's teammate at Vandy and not much else.

BP74 Joseph Mahoney - All hit, no field first base prospect for the O's. The dude is freaking huge and can probably beat the crap out of me though, so I'm going to say he will be the Orioles' starting first baseman by August.

BCP18 Gerardo Parra - Scout.com says he's the D-Backs' #1 outfield prospect. I say he's Rrrrrrrrrico! SUAVE.

BCP95 Matthew Buschman - Since there are impressionable minds reading this blog, I have taken all the swear words I would normally say when I pull double prospects in a Bowman pack and listed all the letters alphabetically.

AAABCDDDEFGHIIIKMMNNOPRRSSSTTU!!!!!

This way only people who really want to know what filth I said and have lots of free time (like say, children) can descramble the profanity on their own time and keep everyone else's minds pure.

BP2 Jamie Richmond gold parallel - Yay! A Brave! Wait a sec... BOOOOO! We traded him to Oakland!!! Get the team right, Topps!

Ugh. So there's my first pack of Bowman. When does Allen & Ginter hit the shelves?

4 comments:

William said...

I think AAABCDDDEFGHIIIKMMNNOPRRSSSTTU was a password in Roger Clemens MVP Baseball for the NES.

suterb said...

You only said the F-word once? Such restraint!

Chris Harris said...

When you said Donruss quoted Bobby Kennedy, I didn't believe you. Then, I grabbed a saw a box at White Plains, flipped it over, and saw that line.

dayf said...

How could I possibly make something like that up?