Friday, September 05, 2008

2008 Topps Clone Wars

Let's have a Friday night movie night here on A Pack A Day. Here's a pack of Clone Wars from Topps. I haven't seen the movie, I'm probably not going to see the movie and I'm quite frankly not even remotely interested in seeing the movie. I'm still a sucker for all things Star Wars, so George can have two of my merchandising dollars instead of ten of my movie ticket dollars.

14 Ziro the Hutt

Ziro the Hutt is Jabba's extremely gay uncle. Oh, how I wish I were kidding.

61 A Leap For Life

I gotta leap for life... Wooooooooo! A leap for life! It took me about a half hour to figure out that this is Anakin plummeting through the air with some sort of critter on his back.

71 Unlikely Shipmates

The image for this card is the exact same as the next one so I'll spare you.

The Buddy System Blue Cel Animation card

This is one of five blue cel cards, although Topps didn't put a number on it. The girl there that went crazy with the tanning cream and then used way too much makeup is apparently Anakin's padawan. (?!?!!) She is holding a sick baby Hutt that they had to rescue from something or other. (???!!!?!) Also, R2D2 us getting way too familiar with this underage Jedi. (!!!!!) Ya know, I don't know about you, but when I was a kid and I first heard about the great Clone Wars in Star Wars and I daydreamed about the exciting and wonderful things that Obi Wan and Yoda and Anakin did in battle, baby Hutts were NOT one of the things I was thinking about.

69 Dark Forces of Dooku

Awwww yeah! This is the shit right here!!! Lightsaber duel with Obi-Wan and some bad, bald, sexy Sith! With crap blowing up behind them and showering sparks everywhere! This is what Star Wars is all about, kiddos! And since the card is number 69, after Obi-Wan whoops her ass in the duel they're obviously gonna get it on! Giggety! I better go to the next card before this post turns into slash fiction...

36 Droid Trouble

From really awesome to really suck. I scanned the back for a change of pace. As you can see in the text, girlie girl padawan goofs while Anakin is trying to destroy the shields or whatever and hijinks ensue. This card proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that Lucas is still leaning heavily on lame slapstick for comedy relief when absolutely no comedy relief is needed. "Oops, I'm just a dumb padawan who accidentally causes trouble so we can chew up 3 minutes of screen time with a silly and pointless fight!" MEH.

60 Terrors of Teth

Ah, back to some real action. Battle Droids shooting up things. I'm not going to say what happens accoding to the text on the back, because it insinuates that baby Hutt provides a Deus Ex Machina to get out of this mess the protagonists are in, and my heart can't take any more of this. Just enjoy the scene of droids blasting away and use your imagination to fill in what happens next.

1 comment:

Jinxo56 said...

If you turn your blue cel animation card over there is a number there. There are 10 cards in that subset, 10 foil cards, and 5 motion cards.