The rules are simple. We take one unopened pack of baseball cards that was randomly selected by yours truly. We then go through the pack card by card looking for those hard to find White Sox cards.
Our player in tonight's game is a 1988 Donruss pack. The pack contains 15 cards and 3 puzzle pieces. Let's begin.
#1: Doug Drabek – 79 - Pirates
A future White Sox!
#2: Rick Sutcliffe – 68 - Cubs
A trap card! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
#3: Gerald Perry – 437 - Braves
What a nice smile. The lighting on his ear makes him look like he has an earring at first glance. His middle name is June?
#4: Tom Foley – 303 - Expos
An Expo! What a rare treat.
#5: Brian Dayett – 416 - Cubs
What the??!! Another trap card!!
#6: Mike Davis – 281 – A’s
Rockin’ the aviators!
#7: Scott Bradley – 147 - Mariners
The White Sox got the late Ivan Calderon by trading Scott.
#8: Donnie Moore – 621 - Angels
I will distract the hitter by waving my glove at him.
Two trap cards!! AAAAARRRGGGGHHHH!!! OK, I’m over it. That half really sucked. 7 cards left to go. Let’s see if we can get a White Sox card!
#9: Kal Daniels DK - 14 - Reds
Kal is an exciting outfielder according to the back of the card.
#10: Lance Parrish – 359 - Phillies
I forgot that Lance was on the Phillies.
#11: Frank White – 225 - Royals
He’s a Jr. See the Royals can have a Jr. too!
#12: Jim Gantner – 214 - Brewers
I still can’t think of the Brewers as being a National League team. Jim’s middle name is Elmer?
#13: Dale Bryan Murphy – 78 – Braves
OK! That’s the superstar of the eighties that this pack lacked!
#14: Frank DiPino – 570 – Cubs
C’mon!! You’re killin’ me here!!
#15: Mike LaCoss – 436 – Giants
Mike went into the wrong sport. How fun would it have been to say, “LaCoss with the goal in Lacrosse”?
#16: Stan Musial puzzle piece 43, 44, 45
Great. A piece of Stan the Man’s crotch. I don’t want to know THAT much about Stan the Man.
OK, our pack opening is complete. Three trap cards and no White Sox cards! That pack sucked big fat donkey. I suppose there are going to be bad packs like this still out there.
So, that’s ½ point for each card in the pack. –1 for each trap card.
Final score: 4 ½ points
No White Sox cards in this game, but there's always next time on Sox Or No Sox.