Saturday, March 01, 2008

2006 Upper Deck Arena Football

My self-imposed ban on Upper Deck products is over. I've restored my old UD Posts so you can look at my O-Pee-Chee hockey rips once again if you so choose. Since this is the opening weekend for the Arena Football League (and since I found this pack in a 25 cents bin) I chose a 2006 Upper Deck AFL pack to welcome UD back into the fold. Arena Football came to Atlanta about 15 years too late for me to become a die-hard fan, but it's a cheap ticket and a fun afternoon if you can ever get to a game. The Georgia Force is actually a good team too, they went to the Arena Bowl two years ago and lost in the conference finals last year. No championships yet, but if the Falcons could do half as good as the Force, I'd die of bliss. The only thing I want out of this pack is a Force player. I don't know who is in the AFL, I don't know who is any good and I don't care. I can pull the rookie card of the best Arena player ever and I'd throw it in the compost heap if it wasn't from Georgia. What I'm saying is, if I don't get a Georgia Force player out of this pack, the people at Upper Deck are GONNA PAY. Terrible horrors and pain and evilness shall befall the world if I blew a quarter on this pack and don't get a Georgia Force card! I mean it!!!1

167 Rashied Davis - San Jose Sabercats

Not a member of the Georgia Force. Dark thoughts cloud my mind.

126 Carl Bond - Voodoo

Also not a member of the Georgia Force. I pull out my old Alan Moore Swamp Thing comics to see if there are any useful Voodoo curses in there.

124 Aaron Bailey - Also Voodoo

Upper Deck for some reason didn't actually put the team name on any of these cards, just the logo. The past two cards say Voodoo on the back in the stat line, but they both have different logos on the front. Carl's logo looks like a B2 Bomber and this guy has a Rhinocerous. Great move Upper Deck, not putting the actual team names on the card for a set of an obscure minor league sport. My rage intensifies and I think of the destruction that could be caused by a B2 bomber dropping a herd of Rhinoceroses on the Upper Deck design team that approved that bonehead move.

151 Idris Price - Orlando Predators

NOT A GEORGIA FORCE. At least the team logo has the name displayed. I let the hate flow through me and consider joining the Dark Side. I absentmindedly peruse an article on Wikipedia on how to make homemade napalm out of silly putty and Texas Pete's hot sauce in the meantime.

AA2 Derek Lee Arena Action insert - GEORGIA FORCE

HALLELUJAH! I GOT A FORCE! AN INSERT YET! Happiness and tranquility and butterflies and big piles of cotton candy and fluffy bunnies hopping around and the 2008 SI Swimsuit issue and spiritual enlightenment all in a little piece of cardboard. Jooooooy.

63 Jermaine Lewis - Nashville Kats
12 John Fitzgerald - Wranglers
25 Etu Morgan - Chicago Rush

No more Forces but I don't care. This was a successful pack and no blood has to be shed. Hooray Upper Deck!

- Note as I am about to post this, the Dallas Desperadoes are kicking the crap out of the Georgia Force. Rats.


SJ said...

Wow, Derek Lee, all those home runs for the Cubs and he plays Arena Ball!

Kevin said...

Holy crap...Jermaine Lewis was a Smurf-sized wide receiver for the University of Maryland and the Baltimore Ravens. He actually returned a kickoff for a TD in Super Bowl XXXV, and then his career pretty much went to shit. (As evidence by his appearance on an Arena Football League card.)

Mets Guy in Michigan said...

Thge rhino is the glorious Grand Rapids Rampage, who play down the block from me. We hosted the Arena Bowl not too long ago.